


Hädanefter (henceforth)

by notupforpolo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bands, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Guitarist Kim Doyoung, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung-centric, Misunderstandings, Nakamoto Yuta is a Little Shit, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Relationship, Seo Youngho I Johnny is a good friend, Seo Youngho | Johnny is a Sweetheart, Solo Idol Kim Jungwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 14:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17644325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notupforpolo/pseuds/notupforpolo
Summary: “There was one problem. One thing that made the whole thing worse than it already was. One problem that made Doyoung want to ask the manager to drive him back to the dorm. To shrink further into the sofa he was sitting in. A single person that made him really hate being on this god damned show.That single person was Kim Jungwoo.”OrDoyoung and Jungwoo were childhood friends that lost contact. After almost ten years since they last spoke they meet on a variety show as idols with their own careers. Old feeling resurface.





	Hädanefter (henceforth)

Variety shows were not necessarily something Doyoung hated. If you asked him, he would probably even go as far as to say that they could be somewhat funny to film. Often with talented comedians, veteran idols turned entertainers and other singers with him on set. He could truly enjoy it. For the most part. But, he always had at least one other member with him. Doyoung had been an idol for a little over six years and he had never gone on a variety show alone. If he didn’t go out as one-fifth of Airship, he at least went out as Doyoung and Johnny from Airship. Or, as Doyoung, Taeil and Kun of Airship. To sum it up: he didn’t do solo.

But there he was. At the set of Happy Together as the singer and guitarist of idol-band Airship.

Their management had sent them to more shows than usual for the upcoming comeback. The only group appearances they had would be Weekly Idol and Idol room. Johnny and Yuta would be guests at Running Man. No one objected to that. Self-proclaimed manly mountain man Nakamoto Yuta and beefy, tall as a tree Johnny Seo were not unexpected picks for such a physical show. To add on to that, homebody of the century Kim Doyoung, human plushy Moon Taeil and the ever indifferent Qian Kun were not exactly about to happily volunteer for such a show.

However, Immortal Songs was still on the list of shows they could go to. I wouldn’t be the first time some of them went there. Taeil and Doyoung himself had been there multiple times and concluded that it was always a pleasant experience. So when they announced that Taeil and Kun would go there without him, and then moved on to solo schedules you could say Doyoung was a bit more than shocked. He had tried to stand up to his company, with the band behind his back. Doyoung had tried to let him take one of the members with him. “ _Johnny would be a great pick for this. He is very charismatic and always makes the mood good. I mean we all know he is the light of the party. I just think he is a better choice altogether for a show like Happy together, I’m just awkward and not that entertaining. It would probably backfire if I went alone”_

That went on for a while. But they didn’t back down in the slightest. _“We feel that it would be good for not just the band, but for you as well to- well to expose yourself a little more. You are never without the other members so the fans may not feel as close to you as the others. You are twenty-five, you should be able to talk on your own.”_ It was true. He didn’t really expose himself that much. But hey, he was great at fanservice so he bet the fans didn’t mind him not going on tv-shows alone. Besides, he was always MC for the groups vlives. The fans didn’t really miss much.

The theme of the episode was “Next generation artist”. The other guests were fine.

He sort of knew Dong Sicheng. He was a fairly well-respected dancer that had made it big in Korea. Doyoung had met him through Yuta once at an award show. Yuta also talked about him a lot. He was also pretty good friends with Mark Lee and Lee Taeyong. They were a promising upcoming hip hop duo that had gotten attention internationally. Johnny and Mark were close for some unknown reason and Taeyong and Doyoung had trained at the same company for a short time and still kept in contact. Also attending was the acting duo Lee Jeno and Huang Renjun. Two young actors who had hit it big and blown up. They were all fine.

There was one problem. One thing that made the whole thing worse than it already was. One problem that made Doyoung want to ask the manager to drive him back to the dorm. To shrink further into the sofa he was sitting in. A single person that made him really hate being on this god damned show.

That single person was Kim Jungwoo. Twenty-three-year-old Kim Jungwoo.

A pretty, boy next door character that had blown away South Korea. A multi-talented singer, dancer and actor. He was South Korea's current it-boy. Solo idol turned actor that everyone loved. From a successful debut as a solo artist after placing fifth on Produce 101 to his heartbreaking role as Jeon Sunghyung in the record-breaking drama ‘Play then Repeat’. He was the nation's pride and had broadcasting stations drooling for him.

And he was Kim Doyoung childhood best friend.

_“Doyoung, I’m joining a company.” Sixteen-year-old Doyoung stopped with what he was doing. “What?” Jungwoo had talked about it before. Becoming an idol was not a new idea of his. He was an excitable and talented kid. But Doyoung had never in his wildest dreams imagined he would do it now._

_“Well, my mum agreed to drive me to an audition. You know since my vocal teacher told her I had talent, she- she said yes. She got a call today… I passed.” Doyoung put down his phone and looked Jungwoo right in the eye. “Are you sure you want this?”_

_He realised years later how bad that sounded. Who said that to their friend. A friend they had promised to support through thick and thin._

_“What do you mean? Are you sure.” Doyoung could both hear and see the betrayal on Jungwoo’s face. He tried to hide it. But he was never angry. He wasn’t angry this time either. “Of course I want this. I decided long ago I want this and you know that. You promised that you would be supportive.” His voice rose with every word but lost it fire with every syllable. “I have wanted this for years. I have cried with you over how I failed auditions and tests and other stuff out of nervousness. And this is how you react.” He was practically screaming at this point. “This is such a huge thing for me. I have supported you when you got to play for the whole school. Even though you had to hang out with me less. I–” Doyoung didn’t let him finish. He knew he was wrong the moment he said it. “I know that. That came out so wrong. I am just worried. Idols have so much pressure and you are young and the panic attacks and everything.” He was rambling just to mend something. Rambling seldom made things better._

_“Oh so now you play the age card. Do you think I am naive Doyoung? Do you think I need to be protected.” Maybe Jungwoo was mad. Those words held punch. Those words almost hurt._

_“No, Jungwoo!”_

After that fight, they had spoken a couple of times. But life took over. The insane pressure from school, trainee life and everything in between made it hard. It was natural and mutual. They fell out. They were each other's pasts. The last time Doyoung had spoken to Jungwoo was when he debuted. He had tried when Jungwoo got his first role in a drama and his first solo win. The number didn’t work. Now they had to be fine. They had to fake never knowing each other and hide the underlying awkwardness for the show. Doyoung could so that. He could discreetly ignore Jungwoo when the cameras were of and pretend he was another awed Korean when they were on. It was hard, but he could do it.

He talked about how he had trained with Taeyong. Sicheng mentioned an incident with Yuta that lead to them talking about Johnny and Mark. It was bearable. Maybe the solo thing was okay. Then the topic moved onto Jungwoo and Doyoung wanted to sink through the floor again. Everyone gave him more or less sincere compliments and so did Doyoung. But after Doyoungs compliment the host stopped him.

“I heard you and Jungwoo were friends before becoming an idol.”

Doyoung wanted to die. Thankfully Jungwoo became the knight in shining armour.

“Yes, we a were childhood friend. We attended the same school and lived close by. But we sort of lost contact when we started training. But there were no hard feelings.” Doyoung sort of shut off after that. He added some unnecessary but obligatory comments to Jungwoo’s story. He participated in the game at the end and then the filming was over. He changed his mind. His final conclusion was that solo was not his thing.

––陌生人––

“Hi.” He bowed to him, probably for show.

Fuck. Could Doyoung not catch a break. The recording was over. He just wanted to go home.

“Long time no see, I guess.” Doyoung was looking down at the floor. He did not want to have this conversation. He was begging in his mind for Jungwoo to get the hint. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It was his way to keep himself grounded. To not slip away again. He had to be polite. He had to act like an idol. There were other celebrities and staff he didn’t know about. Doyoung couldn’t log out or ignore the younger man who was standing in front of him. No matter how much he wanted to sink through the floor, turn into a puddle and then flow out to the ocean. He had to remember; he was an idol. Politeness was key.

So he looked up. Not quite into Jungwoo’s eyes. “Yeah.”

It was a running joke within Airships fans that Doyoung was the smartest in his group. It had started when they were on a show as rookies. The host had asked who was the smartest and Doyoung had naively exclaimed “Me” for laughs. It showed now. ‘Yeah’ was such a clever response.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m good. It’s going really well for the band, so it’s going well for me.”

“That’s great. You guys have been going for a while so… yeah.”

“I- eh, watched the drama. I didn’t know you were such a good actor. And, congrats on your first win. Your song was really good.” That song had come out months ago. Doyoung still listened to it.

“Thank you. I didn’t really know I could act either, but we got some lessons at the company, they said I had talent. It was really fun.” Jungwoo’s words sort of faded out at the last sentence. He wasn’t trying to look Doyoung in the eye either. They were both just standing there, almost looking each other in the eye. “I have a new number.” came Jungwoo’s voice after a while, “I got it after someone found it during produce. Do you have it?”

For a second Doyoung considered just saying yes. It couldn’t hurt their already destroyed relationship. Did he even need his old friend's number? The friend he hadn’t talked to for three years. No, four. Did he need the number of someones who hadn’t tried to contact him either?

“No.”

“Can I make a contact in your phone.”

“Sure.”

He did need Jungwoo’s number. After this he did. Because the clock had restarted. I wasn’t four years anymore. It was seconds. Jungwoo hadn’t changed. So when Jungwoo gave back his phone and Taeyoung came to talk, Doyoung didn’t feel as horrible. Yes, he left it at that with Jungwoo. But maybe there was a glimmer of hope somewhere in the distance.

––友谊––

Doyoung couldn’t stop thinking about Kim Jungwoo after that. He soon realised what having Jungwoo’s number on his phone meant. It was more than an open invitation to text him. Maybe even call. It was more of a must. A bothersome prospect. A thought that wouldn’t go away. A struggle between his heart and his heart.

When things were hard for Doyoung, he went to Johnny. The tall man was sort of a personal therapist for everyone in the band. Doyoung deemed this a mental problem. So after band practice about two weeks after the recording, he stood outside of the Korean-Americans room.

“Johnny?”

“Yes.”

“Could I talk with you for a while.” When he got no answer he almost turned around to go to Kun instead, but not before shouting: “If you’re watching porn just say so so I can go, Johnny.” The door opened after half the words had been uttered. He was standing face to face with said man when he was finished. “For the record, I was not watching porn. But you can come in.”

“What did you want to talk about.” His face turned a bit more serious when Doyoung had seated himself on Johnny's bed. The younger man didn’t look sad per se. Just bothered. His brows were furrowed and he seemed a bit out of it. He was registering everything that was happening, just not reacting to it. It wasn’t something new for Johnny. Doyoung did that when he was overwhelmed or tired. Johnny and the other members saw it a lot during comebacks. Doyoung always took care of everything and a little more. He made sure everyone was feeling well. He double checked that the mics were working. He made sure to practice one last time with Taeil before the concerts and correct the keyboard for Kun at music shows. The man was just like that. Although, everyone had their limits. Doyoung always hit his. However, this wasn’t a tired Kim Doyoung. This was an anxious Doyoung.

Doyoung didn’t answer his question. His eyes were rooted stuck in the blanket beneath him. His fingers carded through the soft fabric as he lightly kicked his foot against the floor. “Is this about meeting Jungwoo? I saw the episode.” Doyoung started fidgeting with the blanket instead. “I- Yes.”

When Johnny realised the younger wasn’t going to continue he tried again. “Did he say something? Of camera?” Doyoung stopped kicking the floor and looked up at Johnny. “Yes and no. We talked. He gave me his number. He had changed it. He hadn’t gotten the messages I sent. He hadn’t gotten them at all. Apparently, some fans got his number or something.”

Johnny was looking at him. A smile was slowly spreading on his lips as Doyoungs frown deepened with every other word. “He gave me his number.” Doyoung finished. “Why are you smiling?” “You are saying everything went well, right.”

“Yes.”

“You got his number.”

“Right.”

“He practically told you to call him, in other words.”

“That’s the problem,” Doyoung exclaimed. “I don’t know. It sounded like it. It sounded like he wanted to talk again. Like there were things left unsaid. But I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should ask him?”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. But seriously, try. If he gave you his number to be polite – which I highly doubt – just leave it. Either he will ignore you or you just ignore him.” Johnny was sitting next to Doyoung now. A comfortable silence surrounded them as they just sat there. Doyoung thinking and Johnny just being there. It was all Doyoung needed, Johnny was well aware of that. “Are you sure?” A bit of confidence had returned to Doyoung’s voice. It sounded like a subconscious rhetorical question.

“Yes. Now, I take hourly in won so if you would just like to-”

“Man fuck you.”

––聚头––

 **Kim Jungwoo (18:21):**  
Hi! It’s Jungwoo. Just testing so you got the right number.

 **Kim Doyoung (18:29):**  
Yes. Thankfully I got the right one.

 **Kim Doyoung (18:31):**  
So, what are you doing?

 **Kim Jungwoo (18:35):**  
I’m just having some fried chicken. The best part of having no schedule! You?

 **Kim Dyoung (18:36):**  
I’m just in the dorm. Resting before Inkigayo tomorrow.

 **Kim Jungwoo (18:37):**  
Are you going to Inkigayo? I am too! We should get a sandwich together, hehehe

 **Kim Doyoung (18:38):**  
Sure! We could meet at the cafeteria.

 **Kim Jungwoo (18:40):**  
Yeah, maybe talk a bit longer than last time

 **Kim Doyoung (18:54):**  
It’s a date! Yuta laughed out loud after reading the conversation.

“A bit eager aren’t we? Already asking for a date?” Doyoung hit him on the arm.

“You gonna slip your number on a sandwich too?” Doyoung hit him harder.

––愛––

“I know you are nervous but please stop kicking my leg.”

“Sorry, Kun.” They were sitting in the cafeteria. Yuta, Johnny and Taeil had gone to get some sandwiches. They were waiting for the show later in the evening. Airship was even nominated to win. Their newest single, 'The garden on a Friday', had been a hit. Two wins already. But they were against Jungwoo today. He’d dropped a single suddenly. ’ Welcome in’. Doyoung had to admit, it was good. Just like his last single.

“I’m thinking we could dance if we win. The fans will love that.”

The other members were back with the food and drinks. Yuta’s lovely (read: annoying) voice was the first indication. “Yuta here,” Johnny started as he sat down. “wants to dance during the encore. Taeil wants to not do that.”

“I really don’t feel like dancing.”

Doyoung looked up at the oldest. “Yeah, I’d rather not.” It was pretty well known that Doyoung and Taeil weren’t the best dancers. No shame at all, it just wasn’t what they prefered doing.

“Are you sure we are going to win? Doyoung’s friend is pretty popular.”

“Kun, I thought I could count on you.”

“Jungwoo?” Taeil asked, looking up from unwrapping his sandwich.

“Doyoung doesn’t have any other friends. You must leave your room to get those.”

“Yuta, I’m getting real tired of y-“

“Hello.” Johnny had seen the singer approach, but four pairs of eyes turned to look up at the owner of the voice. It still amazed Doyoung how soft and innocent is sounded. For Doyoung, it represented his innocence in a way. A very odd way. It was his childhood.

Before practise rooms and packed schedules. It was coin karaoke after school and short, encouraging text in the midst of endless studying. It was rejoicing over good report cards and ranting about another mark in the register for falling asleep in class. That voice was attached to all things good and endless dreams. At the same times as it represented hardships and past regret. It was so much in one voice, and a bit more. Kun nudged him in the side. A ‘you should greet him first’ nudge. Doyoung didn’t react even if he understood. It was ridiculous how much of an impact Jungwoo still had on him.

“Hello. Jungwoo, right?” Since Doyoung wasn’t reacting, Taeil did instead. “Yes. It’s nice to meet you.” Jungwoo bowed for the second time.

“I’m a fan of your music. I really loved ‘please be mine’.” He smiled front teeth on full display. “Oh, the pleasure's ours, and thank you.” Johnny smiled up at the younger. He had never met the man, but an underlying feeling of recognition was present in his mind. Probably since Doyoung had talked about him so much. Jungwoo seemed just like Doyoung had described him. Soft and cute, but far from naive or ignorant.

“Hi.”

Yuta scoffed. “He calls himself the smartest in the band.”

“Hi.” Jungwoo’s answer wasn’t more impressive.

“Bye Doyoung. See you later.” Yuta wasn’t really feeling the whole pinning thing, so he said something. “I promise to save your sandwich.”

“Oh sure. We could go somewhere a litre quieter to catch up. Is that okay with you, Jungwoo.” Confidence wasn’t exactly oozing out of the guitarist's voice. But you had to look fairly far for anxiousness. “Yeah. I’ll just have to text my manager.” His voice was calm, just like always. Doyoung quickly rose from his chair and grabbed his phone. He told Johnny to mention it to their manager and then walked up to where Jungwoo stod. One quick look back at his members and then he motioned for Jungwoo to walk towards the exit.

It was neither uncomfortable nor comfortable to walk with Jungwoo through the busy corridor. It was simply strange. No awkward silence nor pleasant conversation. Both of the boys were just preparing for what they were gonna say. Sorrys, thank yous and I miss yous were high up on both their lists. Doyoung knew what he was gonna say. He had prepared it in the back of his head since the last time they spoke. He’d had some sort of hope a hundred years ago. Hope that he could mend all of it.

“Where are we going?” “Just to our dressing room. For a bit of privacy.”

“Okay.”

The boys were practically already there, just a few steps. Doyoung opened the door and let Jungwoo slip past first. He then let himself in and closed the dirt behind him. Jungwoo stud a bit unsure in the room. Not knowing what to do with himself. “You can sit on the couch, I’ll just get a chair.”

The couch was a small black thing. It seated two people - three if you squeezed. Doyoung did not feel up to sitting like that and having a serious conversation. He and Jungwoo would be sitting far to close. Jungwoo would probably be fine, actually. He seemed okay. Not nearly as nervous as when they met at Happy Together. Jungwoo was like that. Doyoung seated himself on the chair instead.

“I want to start,” The oldest of the two began. “Before you say anything.”

Jungwoo noded. To Doyoung, it looked like the singer was encouraging him. “I know I was in the wrong, and I know it was years ago. I just want you to know that I genuinely was and still am sorry. I have no real excuses. I was in the wrong, no doubt about it.” Jungwoo smiled. This time he was looking directly at Doyoung. His gaze didn’t waver a bit.

“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “You were in the wrong. But none of us handled the situation greatly.”

“I tried to text you. A couple of times actually. I know now that you changed your number, but I was still a bit hurt. A part of me lost hope… that we could reconnect. I thought that you really had moved on. I want you to know that I didn’t. If you want this to be something like a goodbye or closure. I get that. But if you want to try to be friends again, I am more than willing to give it a shot.” It wasn’t what Doyoung had practised in the mirror. That speech had been a lot clearer and shorter. Less genuine. This was better. Unprepared, but better.

“I would love to try again. I have a lot of friends now, but I miss you. I really do. I didn’t know that you tried to text me.”

"I did it when you debuted, when you went solo and on the acting. It’s a bit- ” Doyoung scoffed. “pathetic really.”

“No. I- I would be really happy if I’d actually read it.” Jungwoo was full on smiling. His, goofy, cute smile. Eyes scrunching up just a little bit. Doyoung was smiling too. “It’s a bit embarrassing to say. Our song, ‘17 years’, is about what we left behind. I had you in mind when I wrote that song.”

“That’s cute.”

“That was not the reaction I expected.”

“This feels good.” It was abrupt. Jungwoo’s comment. It came out of nowhere. A second after they had been laughing together.

“What?”

“It feels like old times.”

Doyoung smiled and looked down at the floor for a second. Collecting his thoughts again. Deciding what to say. “It does.”

Maybe Doyoung was the smartest member in Airship, but he was not the most eloquent when it came to speaking. “Do you want to do something sometime.”

Taeil’s nonexistent dog spoke more eloquently than him. “We can go to Han River and eat ramen. Like that one time.”

“My mum was so mad after that. She grounded me for missing those after-school classes.”

“I know, Doyoung. You told me that a couple of times.” This was nice. It was just like old times. They spoke for a while longer. Then they had to go. Jungwoo received a message from his manager telling him he had to go back to his dressing room. Doyoung was sure his members would do the same too soon.

“Text me when we can go to Han river then.”

“Maybe we will get dating rumours.”

“The world isn’t ready for that yet.”

“I am.” Doyoung smiled a bit obnoxiously at Jungwoo's comment. Then they parted. Doyoung’s thoughts were a lot clearer and his heart a ton lighter. When Doyoung came back to the table in the cafeteria with a huge smile on his face, Johnny smiled too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first fic here on AO3 so i'm a bit nervous. I really hope it was enjoyable anyways.
> 
> It's not beta read and english isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes. Hope it's not to distracting.
> 
> Also kudos i anyone gets the references in the song titles.
> 
> Thanks for reading i guess.


End file.
